Dedication to Writing 10

I have an ambitious plan. Well, shall I say I "had" an ambitious plan? The plan has already been executed, now I have to wait and see what the results will yield. I hope I can stir emotions and not just for the sake of dramatic flair. I sincerely love these kids. I want to show them how deeply they moved me so I decided to write an epic poem using fragments of all of their poetry and read it on the last night of school. The summer is such an enchanting time of year. I have been transfixed by obsessions, preoccupations, text, meter, dialogue...I love the world and I love writing...I am so deeply enjoying this feeling of melancholy as I bid my summer school class farewell. I haven't felt this way since I was 13 and it is such a relief to know I can feel again. It is such a relief to know that five years ago didn't kill every chance of ever falling in love with life again... I mean truly in love. In love where you find wonder and sincere astonishment at the beauty around you. I think the astonishment I had written about for these past 5 years was sort of a half-life. I wasn't fully feeling.It's as if I was pretending to emote, to connect, to appreciate the reality of life for the past 5 years. Three quarters of my day was spent in 2004, it's been that way for so long...then the fall-out of 2006...It's been heart-breaking, feeling only half alive. I had grown so accustomed to the heartbreak it was the only tangible thing that reality was wrapped up in. All music, movies, poems, dreams...all things were lensed through the green bottle glass of love and longing for him, for his brown eyes...How amazing to be free of that after so long. How amazing it is to laugh and lay in the sun, to get summer crushes and make new friendships. I can't express any more deeply how much this summer has changed me. It is amazing to no longer be in love with a decade gone by... to be in love with nothing more than the flaming orange of the sunset on campus, the cool of the pillowcase in the morning, lounging with bare legs...I could never begin to comprehend this moment 5 years ago... even pain has an expiration date. I never would have know this...

So all in all I hope my class enjoys the poem I wrote for them. I hope they can see that despite all of the ambiguity, I love them all...so very much...